Challenge Accepted: From Couch Potatoes to A Connected Couple

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The Challenge:

A friend of mine told me about a survey that she read a few weeks ago. She said that the average American adult watches over four hours of television per day. FOUR HOURS!

This had me thinking about what kind of an impact this had on couples. If the average American is watching TV that much per day, I would assume at least half of that time would be with your spouse.

There have been nights when my husband and I, both exhausted from a long day, would veg out on the couch after putting the kids to sleep. We sat in front of the screen for hours on end, until finally heading off to bed.

That is a significant amount of time sitting next to each other on the couch, but not necessarily engaging with one another.

This thought encouraged us to try doing new things at the end of the day with one another, rather than sitting on the couch to “decompress”.

After we learned this we created a challenge for ourselves.

We Accepted:

While there's nothing wrong with enjoying some TV time together, we wanted to ensure that we were spending more quality time with one another in the evening. After all, this was usually the only time of the day it was just the two of us.

We began to intentionally do other activities at the end of the night together, rather than watch TV. We came up with a few things that have worked out well, and have made it easier to actually bond and get quality time in after a long day.

Here are some of the evening activities we tried. Some we loved, others, not so much:

Take an Evening Walk:

We enjoy getting the fresh air, and a little exercise, after a day at work. Our kids always have a great time sprinting to the end of the road and back, or telling us stories as they walk. One thing that our kids love to do, is tell live stories as they are playing. They will act out their story and run ahead of us, to catch the bad guy or to battle a dragon. A fun way to add this into your walk is by using these story telling dice or something similar.

We live in a colder area, so when it is nice enough to get out and take a walk, we will naturally take it. This is such a great way we have found to enjoy each other’s company without any distractions.

Cook a Meal Together:

This challenge crashed and burned in my house. We tried to cook together and it ended up pretty chaotic with our kids. They saw that their dad was helping, so they wanted to get involved as well, until they were bored.

We did end up laughing as we planned and added ingredients, so in that way, it worked out well. We ended up giving the kids some cookie dough to throw on a pan, while I finished up dinner and my husband set the table.

We did decide that this would be something that we would only do when the kids were at a sleepover, or as a family.

Read Together:

When my husband and I started dating, we would read the same book, and discuss it as we read through it. It was such a fun bonding experience. I loved that it was something that we looked forward to at the end of each night. One of the most memorable series we read together was Divergent. This was when the movie just came out, so we were able to compare the books to the movie. Oh man, did we have a lot to say about that third book!

We now read with our children every night. We are currently reading them the FableHaven Series, which is absolutely phenomenal and fun for the whole family. Check that out here: FableHaven Box Set

As a family, we take turns reading to each other each night and later choosing a book to read together and discuss. it is like having a mini book club, with your favorite people.

I highly recommend doing this with your children and spouse. It has always been my absolute favorite form of quality time.

Play a Board Game:

We played board games a lot when our youngest was a baby. It felt like the days were so long back then, and it was so hard to spend time together. Adding in the board games at this point of our marriage was vital to our quality time together. Our absolute favorite game is called Pandemic (because you are on a team). Check that one out here: Pandemic Board Game

I was excited to jump back into playing a game with my husband after we put our kids to bed. We played pandemic, and a few nights later we played a few card games, and I showed off my shuffling skills.

The game play led to us laughing at my attempt to be funny and my husband’s competitive side. We enjoyed these nights a lot. It was great to do something for just us that was so simple and fun.

Take a Bath or Shower Together:

Typically, my bath or shower time is MY time. This is when I unwind and relax after a long day with the kids. So I was hesitant to give even one night of my personal time to my husband. This challenge made me excited to enjoy this time with him though.

This has been a wonderful way we created one on one time together. It is one of the most romantic and simple ways we have found to relax and truly enjoy our time together. Being truly open with a person in that way will definitely strengthen a connection.

If you wanted to try this you could always add in a candle (there are some really steamy ones on amazon for couples) or add bubbles to a bath.

Listen to Music or a Podcast:

We have a few podcasts that we both already like to listen to throughout the day. With the challenge, we decided to intentionally speak about what we heard and learned about in our podcasts. We enjoy political podcasts, so we will find ourselves in debates and catching up on the stories that we are following with one another. We will typically discuss regular news stories, but I have really enjoyed going into depth on what we each learned from the podcast we listened to that day.

A few days we turned on some calm music and cleaned up the kitchen and visited. On other days we turn on some fun, upbeat songs and dance in the living room with our kids.

Do Yoga or Meditate:

I must admit, my husband was not excited about this one. I was really excited about doing yoga at the end of the day. I would do a healthy activity and spend quality time with my husband. Win/win!

Well, we ended up doing things differently. I did yoga using my iPad and a video. He played video games on the Xbox. Stretching out in front of him at the end of the night (in my attempt to seem sexy) really just lead into me laughing until my stomach hurt. Luckily, it does not take much to impress that man.

When all was said and done, we ended up having quality time together in a different way.

If you are interested in doing a yoga workout, my favorite is Yoga with Adrian on YouTube. She is able to gently coach you through the movements, and is very encouraging.

If you want to just do yoga while your man plays video games, which is honestly a lot of fun to throw on some yoga pants and a sports bra and you are good to go. This set is cute, and has additional pieces for those multifunctional days.

Late-Night Conversations:

My husband often works late from home. There are many nights I will sit next to him while he works on the computer and we will just visit. He will tell me about his day, and I will tell him about mine. We will tell jokes or talk about the funny things the kids did. Low-key and simple conversations.

Since we started this challenge we began to dig a bit deeper into our conversations. Sometimes, we will talk about politics or religion. Other times we will reflect back to when we started dating. Almost every night we will end up laughing to the point we are afraid of waking up our kids.

The conversations aspect of our challenge has become incredibly meaningful to me.

There were times in the past when I thought, “what more can we say to each other? He is the person I talk to and see every single day, so what more could I tell him?” It is because he is my person, that I have always been able to find more to say to him. I know what he truly thinks and how he feels, which makes these conversations much more impactful.

Intentional Time:

Each of these activities has brought us so much closer in different ways. We made our time for one another a priority, and it has really deepened our relationship. Our home feels so light and happy, and we have been able to genuinely connect with one another so much more.

We have had a blast trying new things, and intentionally making time for one another. It makes TV feel like such a waste of time after we try out these other things.

We want to know what you do with your spouse at the end of the night. How do you unwind and make time for one another? What else should we try?

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