The Role of the Mother and Father

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Vital Roles

The mother and father each have vital roles in a child's life. These roles are both unique and necessary to create a strong family.

It is easy to forget that our partner's responsibilities in the relationship are different from our own. That they have a different role to play than we do.

A Mother’s Perspective

As mothers, we tend to feel lonely while we are taking care of our family.

Whether we work or stay home full time, it often feels like we are the primary provider for our children and our home.

We change their diapers after hours of labor, while our partner watched.

We wake up in the middle of the night to nurse the baby, while our husband sleeps beside us.

We jump out of bed to catch vomit in our hands when our kid gets sick before it hits the carpet.

We hold our children through the night as they cry with a fever.

As the mother we take care of the planning and scheduling throughout the school year, making sure that our kids make it to every practice and rehearsal.

Making sure that all of their homework is completed on time and that the lunches are taken care of.

We wash and fold the laundry, and scrub the fingerprints off the walls.

The list goes on and on.

What a thankless job it is.

What an overwhelming job it is to ensure that small children function properly and are able to make it in society.

It is so easy to look over at your husband and think how lucky he is that he doesn’t have to deal with all of that.

To look at him and wonder if he has any idea how difficult it is to be a mother.

If he understands all the things that get done, and the family doesn’t notice. 

Consider, his perspective.

As a father, he watches helplessly as you lay on the table, pushing and crying out in pain. He hears the doctor says that "you need an emergency c-section and you need to go now". He now has to watch both his wife and child get wheeled away as the baby is born. He has no control over this matter.

As a father, he lays in bed, night after night thinking of all the ways he will provide for this new family.

He places all the pressure on himself to support not only himself but also this new child and his wife.

When he finally drifts off to sleep, the baby wakes up and he is being glared at by his wife.

He is told one morning that the kids were up all night sick, and he feels awful because he didn’t hear them. He goes back to work that day worrying over how his family is doing at home, sick, without him there to help.

He works each day, climbing the corporate ladder, and trying to provide the best life for the family. He works late nights and early mornings to get that promotion.

Because he is working so hard he misses the kid's baseball games and the parent-teacher conference. He has to hear how his child is doing in school from his wife.

He comes home and works on another report, fixes the shelf that fell down, and makes sure his wife’s tires are changed because it is supposed to snow tomorrow.

His list goes on and on. As a husband, it is his job to make sure that his family is supported and safe. 

Support Your Partner

The roles have been shaken up and shuffled around.

We often look at our spouse as the person that has it better.

The wife would love to get out of the house, to be able to work with other adults for the day, and not be climbed on and pestered.

The husband would love to have more time with the kids, to sit and play with them for a solid day, without any plans or events added to the list.

The wife and husband, the mother and father, each have unique roles that have been intermingled throughout the years.

We are being told that mothers can work and be away from their children, but still raise them to be tough and independent.

Fathers are being told that they should still work, but also need to pay more attention to their children and be in touch with their emotions and feminine side.

The world has shifted, and this is clear.

Men and women have both taken on more and more within the workforce as well as at home. We are pushing ourselves and our children more than ever. We expect our husbands to jump out of bed when they hear their kids cry and we expect our wives to have the house clean when coming home from work.

My suggestion?

Show gratitude.

Understand that we are taking on different roles.

Mothers need to nurture and support their children. They need to ensure that they are doing all they can to raise independent, happy, and respectful boys and girls. A mother's job is to ensure emotional support for her children as they grow.

Fathers need to guide and teach their children by example. As a father, it is their job to be a strong role model, he should teach his kids how to treat others and how to behave.

Both roles are unique.

A mother and father cannot provide the same role.

A girl needs her mother to teach her how to act like a lady, how to speak and treat others, and how to understand her emotions.

A girl needs her father to see how men should behave, to show her she is loved and wanted, and to teach her that she is valued.

A boy needs their mother to show him how to channel his emotions, talk to him when he is feeling down, and speak to a woman.

A boy needs their father to offer guidance through his life, to teach him how to be a man and how to be tough when the time comes.

The roles of a mother and a father are completely different, and they need to be.

Both roles have so much to offer, both roles can teach their children so much.

Understanding that crucial fact will help both sides see and appreciate one another, rather than feel resentment toward one another.